What I have learned from some excellent Christians books

Nick Lica

Name of book :Gary R. Collins, Christian Counseling

Number of pages read: 595 pages

1. What information did you learn from this book?

• I must be a spiritual mature person to be a lay- Christian counselor.

• I am a sinner and I need Jesus and the Bible every day as my counselors.

• I must “build bridges instead of walls“ in interpersonal relationships with people.

• Admitting the problem is the first step in solving the problem.

• Even if I did not experience all of the bad things and problems of the counsel I can help.

• I should have an open door for the counselee in the future if he will need help.

• Life is full of problems in every age, but it depends on me to learn to cope and to be mature.

2. What were your thoughts and feelings about the book?

• God gave me a personality and some gifts and in His eyes I am very special and important. I enjoyed Part 5 of the book, chapter 21 (Inferiority and Self-Esteem).

• God also showed me some things that He wants to change in my personal life and marriage like: anxiety, anger, guilt, different types of fears etc.

• I must love myself because God loves me.

• I must have a right motivation for being a counselor and this is a strong wish to help and love.

• Even if I am not perfect in all areas, God can use me.

3. What will you do (or apply) with the material that you read?

• in my pastoral ministry this material was very helpful to me...in helping people who wanted to commit suicide, struggleling with depression, with mental illness, and other problems.

• this book was a great help in my spiritual growth and development too.

• this book is still a guide for me, because of its excellent content and index where I can find many times the right ideas in my teaching, and in solving interpersonal and personal problems. in ministry.

Name of book: Every man's battle, Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker

Number of pages read: 235 pages

1. What information did you learn from this book?

• Every Man's Battle is the first book I have read in my adult life on the topic of sexual purity. In my I learned from this book how to rise above the sexual temptations which I face and how to victoriously face the challenges in sensual are.

• The battle plan is done on three levels: with my eyes, in my mind and in my heart.

• Sexual impurity is not a sickness or imbalance for most men, but a bad habit. While sexual impurity works like a bad habit, sexual purity works like a good habit.

• The main teaching of this book is the concept of „bouncing“ the eyes. What this means is that when a man sees something that is sexually tempting he is to immediately divert his eyes. The authors state that most men, after six weeks of doing this, will make it a habit and will no longer struggle with lust the way they once did. Their eyes will naturally bounce away from objects they once found alluring. When men stop filling their minds with lustful images, they can then learn to control their thoughts and stop the cycle of sexual fantasy. The book closes with a chapter about a man's responsibility to love and honor his wife, viewing her as the one woman God chose him to spend his life with. It is only when men are free from sexual sin that they can truly honor our wives the way God intends.

2. What were your thoughts and feelings about the book?

As I read this book, I found it both interesting and inspiring. Every man can, at least to some extent, identify with the authors as they describe their struggles with sexual temptation. I appreciated their honesty and their desire to speak about topics that many books would avoid. They speak about real, significant sin. Unusually for our culture, they never tried to blame their problems on their parents, their upbringing or on Satan and his demonic forces. They accepted full responsibility for their struggles and sin. Though their pasts may have contributed to their sexual sin, they did not try to pass blame to anyone else. I found this book very helpful. It is written with clarity, honesty and a sound biblical base. Clear, practical principles for sexual purity...a call for courage, commitment,
and self-discipline."

Name of book: Chapman, Gary. Five Love Languages

Number of pages read: 177 pages

1. What information did you learn from this book?

The fundamental truth of the book is that people speak different love languages. We tend to speak our primary love language, and we become confused when our spouse does not understand what we are communicating. We are expressing our love, but message does not come through because we are speaking what, to them or her is a foreign language. In order to effectively communicate my love to my wife I must be willing to learn my spouse’s primary love language. In order to effectively communicate my love to my wife I must be willing to learn my spouse’s primary love language.

There are basically five emotional language - five ways that people speak and understand emotional love. They are: Words of affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of service, Receiving gifts and Physical touch. When I speak the primary language of life that my wife has, she fills loved, appreciated and gets the message.

2. What were your thoughts and feelings about the book?

Every one of us has a "love tank" that, like the car gas tank, can be full, empty or somewhere in between. The tank is full when our partner is demonstrating his/her love in the language that speaks best to us. The tank is empty when we don't feel loved because either A) our partner is not showing his/her love to us--at all, or B) our partner is not showing love to us in a way that we can hear and feel--she/he isn't speaking our "love language." The solution is speaking the love language of our partner, so that the tank will be refilled and kept always full.

As I have read this book I was very pleased with the content and I felt that this book is very useful, inspiring, easy and interesting to read.

Name of book: His Needs, Her Needs, Willard F. Halrey

Number of pages read: 215 pages

1. What information did you learn from this book?

This book is one of the best book that I have read on the topic of marriage life and relationships. From this book I learned a lot how to understand my wife and her emotional needs. The idea of the book is that everyone has a set of needs that must be met in order for them to feel satisfied and happy in a relationship. The needs for women and men are different (big surprise for me) and when we are aware of the needs for our partner, our marriages will be much happier.

What are these needs? Here is Harley's list:

For a man, they are: Sexual Fulfillment, Recreational Companionship, An Attractive Spouse, Domestic Support, Admiration

For a woman, they are: Affection, Conversation, Honesty and Openness, Family Commitment, Financial Support.

These needs are so strong that when they are not meet in marriage, people are tempted to go outside marriage to satisfy them. Harley stresses that we need to work on meeting these needs in our spouse, not simply demand that our needs be met. Fulfilling those needs means preparing yourself to meet needs you my not appreciate yourself.

2. What were your thoughts and feelings about the book?

After I have read the book I realized the a satisfying marriage is a marriage where booth partners meet their needs. When husband and wife commit themselves to meet each other's needs, will lay a foundation for lifelong happiness in marriage. I really found my needs in these 10, so I want my marriage to be a place where the needs are met. I agree with the author where he explains that if your needs are not being met in your marriage, then you are going to be tempted to look elsewhere to meet those needs. You may not actually have an affair, but he claims that unmet needs are where most affairs begin

Name of book: LaHaye, Tim and Beverly. The Act of Marriage

Number of pages read: 295 pages

1. What information did you learn from this book?

This book is the one of the best 3 books on intimacy in marriage that I have read. I learned a lot from it because there is no similar book in our language on the topic of sexual life in marriage. In the communist time, there were no books there will give such a good teaching a d biblical perspective on sex. Sex is in our culture so polluted subject that in the church is a taboo.

I learned and liked the most first and forth chapter about the sanctity and design of sex. Sex is holy and sacred , not dirty, when practiced in the context of his design. God will not cover his eyes when a couple is making love. Chapter 4 shows the beauty of God’s design for sexual life. Why God Created Sex? In this chapter the authors present five reasons that God created sex, in spite of how it is misused by many, in their view.

1. It is needed to propagate the human race.

2. It provides a married couple the means to give mutual pleasure.

3. It allows spouses to be fulfilled with each other and to be less tempted by other sexual opportunities.

4. The husband will have claim over his wife and the wife will have claim over her husband.

5. It creates a unique union and method of communication between two people that cannot be shared with anyone else.